A question often asked is what’s the average length of a penis.

A non-erect penis usually measures between 3-4 inches from tip to base.

Many factors can cause a temporary shrinkage of two inches or more, for instance cold weather or going swimming, so you needn’t worry if you happen to fall short of the average.

Of course, it’s true that some men have big penises and some have smaller ones, just as some men have small feet and some have big feet, but the measurement is not - an index of virility.

Most people think that a tall man will usually have a large penis, but this is not true. The distinguished American researchers Masters and Johnson measured the penile lengths of more than 300 men.

• The largest organ was 5.5 inches in the flaccid state. It belonged to a slim man who was 5′ 7″ tall.
• The smallest penis measured 2.25 inches. It belonged to a fairly heavily built man of 5′ 11″.

It’s also worth pointing out that there is no correlation between penile size and race.

Average size of erections

We’ve talked about the length of the penis in its ordinary non-erect state, but how long should it be when it’s erect?

Interestingly, most penises are very much the same size when erect.

• The man whose non-erect penis is smallish will usually achieve about a 100 per cent increase in length during sexual excitement.
• The man whose non-erect penis is on the largish size will probably manage about a 75 per cent increase.
• This means the great majority of penises measure between (6-7 inches) when erect.

So you can see that even if a man has got a ’small’ penis, he’s got a built-in compensating factor that will bring him up to about the same size as the guy who appears to be ‘better equipped’.

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Talking dirty to the one you love is one of those sexual behaviors people are uncomfortable with the first time they do it, and the first time they do it with a new partner. To do it well means letting loose and exposing yourself, which always feels scary the first time. Here are some steps to getting comfortable with dirty talk, and ideas for introducing into your sex play.

Here’s How:

Be authentic in your dirty talk.
Dirty talk can feel silly if you expect it to be what you’ve seen in the movies. You might have this idea that dirty talk is something specific. But good dirty talk is completely what you make it, and to do it well, you have to be yourself. While you may take on a role in your dirty talk you need to find something of yourself in the role.

You need to find your own way of talking dirty.
Your dirty talk might be low rhythmic grunts, high pitched squeals, or precise whispers. It might reflect the way you talk in your daily life, or it might express a different aspect of your personality. Experiment with speed, how fast you talk. Change the volume of your voice, try whispering, try screaming, try everything in the middle. You can sound commanding and harsh, trembling and uncertain, and everywhere in between.

Expand your dirty talk vocabulary.
Most of us are raised not to swear. Dirty talk is your opportunity to pull out all the stops on the foul mouth express. Unless you’re role playing calls for it, avoid clinical terms (like penis). You can do research online, by reading some raunchy erotica.

Practice dirty talk when you’re alone.
Carol Queen, author of the highly recommended Exhibitionism for the Shy, suggests starting on your own, talking dirty while you masturbate. Fantasize about having sex with your partner and talking dirty to them. You can start by doing it in your head, but eventually do it out loud.

Establish ground rules with your partner.
One of the reasons many of us don’t talk dirty is fear of sounding ridiculous, or being put down or rejected by a partner. It’s important to set some rules when you’re willing to take risks like this. Rules like no laughing at one another, and no judgment are important. In the heat of the moment anything can come out of your mouth, and you need to know that your partner is respectful of the ways that can be exposing.

Start slow the first time.
Don’t feel you have to rush right into elaborate dirt talk. A great way to start with dirty talk is to describe out loud what is happening during sex. Things like “I love the way your hand feels in my….” Or “Your …feels so good on/in my…” Describe what’s happening and how it feels in your body. You can also experiment by telling your partner something you’re going to do to them, or something you want them to do to you.

Make dirty talking a two way conversation.
Once you’ve taken the risk and initiated talking dirty with your partner, ask them to do the same. It isn’t for everyone, and you might find that you like doing it more than hearing it (or vice versa). But being on the receiving and the giving end of dirty talk can give you a different perspective on it, plus you may learn a few things from your partner you didn’t already know.

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Lubricants reduce friction, help to increase sensitivity, and provide a simple solution to female dryness. There’s so many to pick from out there and it’s a hard decision. Well the answer somewhat depends on what you are using it on.

You will want to use a water-based and glycerin free lubricant when having vaginal sex. The water-based is for easy clean up, stainless, odorless and good to use with condoms. Water based lubricants are also good with all sex toys and need a few drops of water or saliva to reactivate them since natural evaporation occurs. The glycerin free (a form of sugar that can cause yeast infections) is so that your female partner won’t get an infection. You see, glycerin can cause yeast infections so if it gets into your female partner’s vagina then she could get a yeast infection.

Water based gel lubes are Thicker for no-mess, no-drip version of liquid lubes. They can be reactivated, just like water based lubes, with a few drops of water or saliva. The thick viscosity of gel lubricants provide consistent coverage. Gel lubes are good for all sexual activities and particularly recommended for anal and toy use.

Silicone based lubricants stay wet and slippery the longest, never drying out even when immersed in water. This makes silicone lubes perfect for pool, tub and water play. Remember though, that silicone lubes can damage silicone toys and the synthetic “real feeling” toys. They are also particularly recommended for anal and non-silicone toy use. Silicone lubricant is not good for use with a silicone toy because the 2 heat up and the toy melts. Silicone based lubricant is extremely slippery so clean up spills immediately in the tub or shower to avoid slipping. Also they may stain clothes and sheets.

Petroleum based lubricants are not good to use on latex toys or during intercourse because it will damage latex condoms rendering them ineffective and cause holes and tears in condoms and diaphragms.

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Content by BetterSex.com - the #1 Authority on Sex.

Tip # 1: Sex & Menstruation »

Tip # 2: Fertility »

Tip # 3: Sex During Pregnancy »

Tip # 4: Conception Without Penetration? »

Tip # 5: Sex Positions During Pregnancy »

Tip # 1: Sex & Menstruation

Content by BetterSex.com - the #1 Authority on Sex. Tip # 1: Lubrication ��

Tip # 2: Stress-Free Sex Positions ��

Tip # 3: Communication ��

Tip # 4: Setting the Mood ��

Tip # 5: Increase Stimulation ��

Tip # 6: Finding A Partner ��

Tip # 7: Advanced Thinking ��

Tip # 8: Getting Help ��

Tip # 9: Timing is Everything ��

Tip # 10: Beyond Intercourse ��

Tip # 1: Lubrication

As they age, women often find a decreased level of natural vaginal lubrication during arousal. This is particularly true for women who are post-menopausal. After menopause, their vaginas are also often less flexible than they were during younger years. For women of any age, having insufficient lubrication during intercourse causes intense discomfort and even severe pain. For older adults, it is often necessary to introduce a water-based personal lubricant to lovemaking. In this way, vaginal dryness is alleviated, and intercourse is much more pleasurable. Men can use the lubricant as well, for additional stimulation and ease of penetration.

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Tip # 2: Stress-Free Sex Positions

There may be occasions when sexual positions that were once favored when you were younger are not as comfortable for you now. In this case, it’s good to have a few new positions to rely on so sexual connectivity with your partner is not interrupted. The best positions for intercourse that does not put undue stress on your muscles or joints are the ones where both partners are lying on their sides. If both partners face each other on their sides, the intimacy is still maintained, and you can look each other in the eyes. Another suggestion is to ��spoon.�� Here, the man enters from behind, while both partners are lying on their sides.

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Tip # 3: Communication

No matter what your age, open communication is key to a healthy sexual relationship. Perhaps this is even truer for older adults. By discussing sexual issues with your partner as they arise fewer misunderstandings will occur. For example, one partner may feel pain during sex due to arthritis or some other physical ailment. His or her interest seems to be waning, and the other partner may feel rejected. Without effective communication, this small misunderstanding can weaken or even destroy a relationship. Communicating with your partner about what you want and what you do not want in a clear and positive way is arguably the most important part of a healthy sexual relationship.

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Tip # 4: Setting The Mood

No one can dispute the importance of taking time to seduce your lover, regardless of what phase of adulthood you are in. Older adults, however, typically benefit more from the added effort placed in setting a relaxed and sexy mood prior to lovemaking. There are many ways to accomplish this. Taking baths together, having a romantic meal at home (try this in the nude for added spice), even sharing stories of how you met and became attracted to each other. All these can aid in guiding you effortlessly into sexual activity. Once these efforts have been made, the sex itself should be a more gratifying and well-rounded experience for you both.

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Tip # 5: Increase Stimulation

As we know, older men take longer to achieve an erection as they age. Once they have gained one, it often is not as strong as it once was. This is caused by less rapid blood flow. Older women experience a similar effect: decreased sensitivity in the clitoral area. This, too, is caused by less blood flow to that region. Decreased sensitivity equals less pleasure. In both cases, more stimulation of the genital area may be required. If manual or oral stimulation is not sufficient, other methods can be used. Try incorporating a vibrator into your lovemaking sessions. There are many versions on the market, and not all are penis-shaped. Some are small enough to fit in the palm of your hand, and work quite nicely to stimulate specific smaller erogenous zones like the clitoris, the perineum, and the entrance to the anus.

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Tip # 6: Finding A Partner

If you find that you are single in your older years, you may think that your sex life is over. Think again. More and more of us are living longer and better. That means there are more people your age living vital lives than ever before. Just as it is when we first started out in the world of sexuality, attitude is everything. Being the best person you can be, getting out there and active, will increase you chances of meeting a new partner. Whatever your interests are, start attending cultural outings or lectures where you’re likely to find older adults. You may even wish to start your own group. Getting older doesn’t mean having to give up a healthy sex life; you just have to keep your heart and mind open to all opportunities.

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Tip # 7: Advanced Thinking

Unfortunately, American society holds many negative stereotypes about aging and the efficacy of older adults. Unconsciously, these messages may cause older individuals to wonder whether they are being frivolous for wanting to continue having sex or holding onto a sex drive in the first place. Perhaps they think they should have somehow outgrown it. This is nonsense. Physiologically speaking, there is no indication that sex drive has to decrease as we age. In fact, older adults have years of knowledge and experience. In fact, it would make more sense if younger adults were to seek advice from their elders. Try to keep positive attitudes and ideas like these in mind. There is no expiration date for desire, so enjoy it!

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Tip # 8: Getting Help

There are occasions when older adults will need special assistance in their sex lives. Sometimes the assistance is the use of a simple tool, like a vibrator, to help a partner achieve arousal in situations where their partner may have arthritis pain and is unable to stimulate his/her partner manually. On other occasions, the assistance needed is psychological. When older men, for example, experience impotence, it is often not due to aging, but rather medications illness, or psychological problems such as depression. While it is normal for any man to have problems getting an erection during sexual activity every once in a while, older men are more prone to it and over time this may cause anxiety. In turn, this anxiety can increase and negatively affect his entire sex drive. Seeking professional psychological assistance could help overcome this sexual problem or others like it.

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Tip # 9: Timing is Everything

For older adults, more time may be needed to achieve full sexual arousal. Older men generally take longer to achieve an erection and the penis may be less rigid. On the other hand, they are less likely to ejaculate prematurely. Older women, too, typically require more time to allow for sufficient lubrication. Even if an artificial lubricant is being used, she still deserves the time to get aroused mentally. This can be a blessing! Taking more time to tend to you and your partner’s sexual needs is a great way to prolong intimacy, and even each new heights of pleasure you didn’t in earlier years. Try making love in the morning, after a good night’s sleep. Not only is it a nice way to start the day, older men are more likely to have a firm erection in the morning.

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Tip # 10: Beyond Intercourse

For some older couples sexual intercourse with penetration may not be possible. This can be due to physical restrictions or disease, among other causes. This does not mean, however, that you and your partner must give up a healthy sexual lifestyle. In fact, a lesson every adult should learn is that sex does not have to be all about intercourse. Sexual intimacy with your partner can be expressed in a number of ways. You may wish to explore mutual masturbation, sensual massage, oral sex, or shared fantasies. Keeping your sex life healthy just requires a little imagination and desire to please your partner.

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