We’ve probably all encountered a man that is threatened by sex toys. He thinks you want a toy because he doesn’t please you, or that he won’t be able to compete with the toy, when the truth is sex toys can be used to enhance the pleasure of both partners. I don’t think any of us would rather have the toy than the man, but they sure can be great together.

            If you have been wanting to introduce toys to your relationship but are worried about how your partner will react, the trick is to start off slow. Don’t bring home a life sized penis shaped vibrator first, as he may view that as a replacement for him. You can get to that, but first you have to build the foundation.

            A great first “toy” for a couple is the Sensual Bath Set. It comes with a Kama Sutra of Sensual Bathing book, and a soft vibrating spa sponge and it’s built in water-resistant bullet. It’s cutesy and fun, nothing any man would be threatened of! Run a bath, light some candles, maybe put on some light music, and ask him to join you. Enjoy the bath for a bit and when he gets relaxed and in the mood start giving him his sponge bath! If he’s loving it, go wild! If he seems a little reluctant, just stick with his upper body for a bit, and then let him bathe you. He may just be more comfortable taking the lead himself.

            Later in the week read the book with him to get more ideas on a sensual bath, or leave it for him to find and read on his own. After you’ve taken several fun baths together and he has no problems letting the vibrating sponge wander, you are ready to graduate on to your next toy! Just remember to let him know it is about enhancing the pleasure for both of you if he still has any qualms.

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Show off:

Although your inner bad girl may get off on the idea of being caught in the act, the real you may not feel right about sneaking off to a bar bathroom but you can feed any secret exhibitionist appetites by having sex in front of a window with the lights off. Stand up against the window facing out and have him take you from behind. You’ll get a rush from just the possibility of being watched.

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Some very different fetishes are of balloons and urine. I know that urine sounds nasty and extreme but it is a fetish that is displayed in many erotic films due to it being more common these days.

Balloon fetishism

A balloon fetishist becomes aroused when viewing, touching, tasting, or interacting with balloons. This can extend to the material, color, shape or even sound of a balloon.

Three general categories have been recognized when describing balloon fetishists that include, poppers, semi-poppers, and non-poppers.

Poppers generally do not focus on the balloon itself, but rather on the popping of a balloon, whether self-induced, or done by a sexual partner. The methods of popping may include over-inflating, body pressure (i.e. sitting on a balloon), pricking the balloon with a sharp object, or using teeth or fingernails to pop an inflated balloon.

Semi-poppers do not aim to pop a balloon, but are not unsatisfied if it happens by mistake, and may even find it arousing.

Non-poppers often fear the loud noise of a popping balloon, and are more interested in playing with a balloon, or the aesthetics thereof.

Balloon fetishism is not very well known, but is growing rapidly mainly due to pornographic content on the internet.

Urine fetishism

A urine fetishist involves urine in sexual activities and for sexual pleasure.

People with this fetish may find pleasure in urinating in public places, urinating on other people, being urinated upon, or even drinking their own, or someone else’s urine. Others may just prefer to watch these activities. These practices are sometimes referred to as a ‘golden shower’ or ‘watersports’.

Other varieties of urine fetish may include arousal from normal urinary activity, such as wetting the bed, wetting one’s pants, or in more extreme cases, a diaper fetish or arousal from infantilism.

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Here are some common definitions of fetishes and other alternative sexual practices.

Autoerotica: Self-induced arousal and/or stimulation.
Autoerotic asphyxiation: The purposeful decrease of oxygen during sexual activity, usually with the goal of increasing the intensity of the orgasm.
Bestiality: Sexual activity with an animal.
Bondage and discipline (B & D): Physical or symbolic containment or constriction of any part of the body as part of erotic play.
Cross-dressing: Wearing the clothing of the opposite sex for sexual or non-sexual purposes.
Dominatrix: A woman who professionally takes on the role of dominating her clients through S&M, B&D and/or humiliation.

Exhibitionism: The act of sexual arousal through exposing one’s genitals or body.
Fisting: A sexual act that involves the insertion of the hand and sometimes the forearm into the vagina or anus.
Frotteurism: Sexual arousal that occurs when an individual purposely rubs against others. This may be done discreetly without being discovered, or in circumstances where the victim cannot respond, typically in a public place such as a crowded train. It is commonly known as groping.
Golden showers: Also known as watersports. The act of urinating on a partner’s body or watching the act as part of sexual stimulation.
Masochism: The desire to experience pain and/or humiliation for sexual gratification. The term comes from the writings of Leopold von Sacher-Masoch.
Necrophilia: Sexual arousal through contact with a corpse.
Paraphilia: Also known as erotic preference and previously as ‘deviant’ sexual behaviour. A preference for an erotic stimulus that is not considered to be normal practice.
Sadism: The infliction of the sensation of pain in order to achieve sexual excitement. The term was developed from the writings of Marquis de Sade.
S&M: Erotic activity/play based upon the principles of sadism and masochism.
Urophilia: Derivation of sexual excitement through contact with urine.
Vouyerism: Sexual gratification from watching sexual activities performed by others.

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Here is a look at a couple of common fetishes in todays world.

Foot fetishism

A foot fetishist will become sexually aroused by touching, smelling, tasting, kissing, or handling the feet, ankle or toes of a person, or by having these actions done on their own feet by another person. Some foot fetishists may also enjoy being walked on, or using their feet to manipulate their own, or their partners’ genitals, or having their genitals manipulated to orgasm by another person’s feet (referred to as a ‘foot job’). Some foot fetishists may just be content with touching or being touched by feet, or in rare cases, being used as a footrest.

In much the same way that a normal person may be aroused when seeing naked genitals, so do foot fetishists become aroused when seeing feet. There are of course, a variety of different foot fetishes, each with their own properties and likes that are not necessarily shared by all foot fetishists. Some may prefer naked feet, while others might prefer dressed feet. Some foot fetishists will only be aroused by a specialized scenario, such as a naked foot resting on a table top.

There have been a variety of proposed explanations for the development of a foot fetish. Some suggest that the link between feet and sexual arousal is a direct result of the feet sharing the same sensory cortex as the genitals.

Another theory suggests that the foot’s shape is distinctly phallic, and can be viewed to replicate the female or male genitals, or the shape of a female body.

A third theory notes that the feet and the genitals are in the same visual window, and when looking at one, the other will be in view as well.

Spandex fetishism

Spandex fetishism is a sexual attraction in fetishists for tight, stretchy fabrics worn by people, or in rare cases to the items of clothing themselves.

Spandex fetishists become sexually aroused when dressed in, or seeing sexual partners dress in tight fabrics, or fantasising about such scenarios. Alternatively, spandex fetishists may create fantasies about the wearers of skin-tight garments such as acrobats, dancers, gymnasts, contortionists, athletes or swimmers.

Spandex fetishism can even expand into re-enacting scenarios from comic books or movies where characters are portrayed wearing spandex costumes. These scenarios usually involve a damsel in distress, a villain, and a super hero that comes to the rescue.

Some extreme cases of spandex fetishism involves the use of a full body suite covering the entire body with material, including the fingers, toes and head. One theory about spandex fetishism is the idea of a ‘second skin’ that clothing gives a person, one that a fetishist either wants to obtain, or wants to remove.

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