What is an orgasm? An orgasm is an emotional and physical experience that occurs during a “sexual response cycle.” Before an orgasm, your body becomes increasingly excited. Breathing, heart rate and blood pressure increases. The pupils of the eyes dilate; the lips of the mouth darken, the nipples become erect, the clitoris swells, becomes hard and exposed, (much like the aroused penis). With increased excitement, the skin becomes flushed and it begins to sweat. In women the labia, clitoris, vagina and pelvic organs enlarge in very much the same way as the aroused penis enlarges. Sometimes there is a plateau of excitement which is held for several minutes before you are about to orgasm.

Orgasm is the point at which all the tension is suddenly released in a series of involuntary and pleasurable muscular contractions that may be felt in the vagina and/or uterus (some women do experience orgasms without contractions).

The orgasm happens when excitement seems to go over the edge ~ a climax or crescendo is reached which may last several seconds or longer. During orgasm the body stiffens and the muscles contract.
Involuntary muscle contractions and spasms may occur in various parts of the body, including your legs, stomach, arms, and back. The muscles of the vagina relax and contract rapidly, as do the muscles of the uterus. The glands of the vagina (Bartholin’s glands) discharge a watery secretion, which acts to lubricate the vagina.

The main physical changes that occur during a sexual experience are a result of vasocongestion. This is the accumulation of blood in various parts of the body. Muscular tension increases and other changes occur throughout your body also.

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The power of smell is undeniable, as the multi-billion dollar perfume industry testifies. But, is it possible that humans are influenced by airborne chemicals undetectable as odors, called pheromones? It appears so. Scientific studies have actually shown that people who used synthesized pheromone had sex more often.

Pheromones are hormones that we naturally secrete that send out signals to the opposite sex (or the same sex) that trigger power sexual response.

Pheromones are odorless, airborne chemical signals that are released by an individual into the environment. These chemicals affect the physiology or behavior of other members of the same species. Although pheromones have been shown to exist in virtually all species of insects and mammals, they also control the behavior of humans, acting as sexual attractants. The secretion of pheromones by humans is believed to dramatically increase both desirability and sexual attractiveness in both men and women.

There are two places on the body that produce the most pheromones. The underarm and pubic areas. Now these are also the areas that we try to cover up odor constantly. Yet underarm and pubic hair is specifically designed to hold odor! The follicle of the hair is shaped like an oval, so that makes the hair curly and more porus than hair on our heads. So it absorbs sweat and pheromones because pheromones arrive via our sweat. In addition to holding pheromones the hair also holds sweat odor.

There are women out there who will admit to loving the smell of their man after working in the yard for a few hours. Its not the odor they’re attracted to, its the pheromones. Sweat actually starts to smell bad when it comes in contact with bacteria and dead skin cells and the longer its there, the more bad the smell becomes. Shaving is one way we can cut down on this odor.

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It’s just what you’ve always wanted: all those years of having cramps, weird food cravings, back pain, and crabbiness every single month are finally behind you. But you didn’t ask for the symptoms that come with the downside of menopause, which can often include a decrease in your sex drive. Take heart, though; no one’s telling you to say goodbye to great sex forever! Here’s the lowdown on what really happens during the Change – and why it might just be the best thing that’s ever happened to your love life.

Most American women experience menopause at around 51, and some experience symptoms of menopause well before their last period – even years beforehand. These can include irregular bleeding, those infamous hot flashes, mood changes, insomnia, depression, incontinence, cognitive changes such as problems with attention and memory, and sexual changes like vaginal dryness, an increase in yeast infections, and lack of interest in sex.

That’s the bad news. But here’s the upside: Chances are you have years of fantastic sex to look forward to. “Seventy percent of couples at the age of 70 are sexually active,” says ob/gyn Dr. John McMurry of Spencer, West Virginia. Sure, women’s – as well as men’s – sexual responses change as they age, often around menopause, but these can be positive changes. Why? According to Dr. McMurry, there are a few reasons. Some women actually report an increase in desire during midlife or around menopause, while men of the same age have probably gained greater control over ejaculation, allowing them to last longer in bed. Also, couples tend to communicate better with one another, and are comfortable enough with each other to experiment with sex without feeling silly. And Dr. McMurry is quick to point out that, at any age, “the best foundation for a healthy sex life is a strong, loving relationship with your partner.”

But what if the symptoms of menopause are taking a toll on your sex life? You don’t just have to grin and bear it. Talk to your doctor about these non-prescription treatments:

·Zestra. Similar to lube, Zestra is a hormone-free, drug-free oil that you massage onto your clitoris and vagina just before sex. It creates a gentle warmth that helps you get aroused and stay aroused. Available at bettersex.com.

·Eros therapy device. Placing the device’s soft “cup” over your clit and vagina, creates a vacuum that encourages blood flow to the entire area, which increases sensitivity, helps you stay lubricated, and lets you reach orgasm more easily.

·Olive oil or vitamin E vaginal suppositories. Both olive oil and vitamin E increase sensitivity. Be careful, though; oil and condoms don’t mix!

Some prescription medications may also ease your symptoms. Ask your doctor about:

Hormone replacement therapy (HRT). Dr McMurry suggests using estrogen vaginally, so the hormone doesn’t circulate throughout your system.
Testosterone
Changing certain antidepressants and blood-pressure medications, if you take these medications regularly.

At the end of the day, though, sizzling sex happens when two people enjoy pleasuring each other! Check out these books and websites for more information on sex and menopause:

Sex Over 50 by Joel D. Block and Susan Crain Bakos (Reward Books: New York, NY, 1999)
Website for the American Society of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, http://www.acog.org
Website for the North American Menopause Society, http://www.menopause.org.

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Traditionally, “foreplay” was considered to be something that a man had to do to get his partner ready for sexual intercourse. Today, foreplay has become an integral part of the whole lovemaking experience. It is true that impromptu sexual encounters without foreplay can sometimes be some of the best sexual experiences, but in general, most women will agree that good sexual encounters mean that you learn the importance of foreplay. A more vigilant form of foreplay will bring increased pleasure to both partners, and make the whole lovemaking experience more enjoyable.

Spice up your sex life

Especially with age, both partners will need a little extra spice to get fully aroused and achieve maximum pleasure. Hence you need to learn the importance of foreplay. The man will need to prolong foreplay to get an erection and the woman will need the same to become properly lubricated. Most sex experts agree that there is no such thing as spending too much time on foreplay. The trick is to start intercourse when both partners are peaking with excitement and are having a hard time controlling their desires.

What is foreplay?

You’ve gotta learn the importance of foreplay, which can encompass a wide range of activities, including hugging, fondling, undressing, kissing, petting, and performing oral sex. Why is foreplay so important? First of all, men who cuddle and kiss their partners and know how to enjoy sensitive foreplay will often find that their partners will not only enjoy sexual intercourse more, but will also see their partners reach orgasm more easily. Most women need prolonged stimulation in order to reach a state of complete arousal, and foreplay will provide them with the required stimulation.

No ultimate foreplay

There is no such thing as the ultimate foreplay, and it is not about pressing the right buttons in the right order. It is about understanding what makes your partner get hot and delivering the things that make her experience intense pleasure. All women are different. Some get off on being lightly kissed all over their necks while others enjoy direct oral stimulation.

There are many ways to give your partner extreme sensations, but one thing is for sure: It all begins in her brain. Simply tell her how beautiful she is and how much you appreciate her sexy body. By complimenting her appearance, especially if her confidence level is low, you are giving her added security and excitement, as well as giving her good reasons to go all out with the foreplay.

Set the mood

To learn the importance of foreplay you have to know how to set the mood. The next step is paying attention to romantic details. Creating the right environment for sexual intercourse can be crucial, especially at mature stages in the relationship. For example, make sure the room is warm, the lighting subdued, and the sheets clean. Once the mood is right, take the time to undress her because the act of removing your partner’s clothes can be an important part of foreplay. Many have found that undressing increases the eroticism, it stimulates and intensifies the feeling.

Often, women spend a lot of money on nice lingerie because it makes them feel sexy and they want it to stay on for a while. Instead of getting her completely naked, remove her bra strap, kiss her shoulder, then put it back on again. Do the same with her underwear, and, again; compliment how good she looks in it.

Kissing and foreplay

During foreplay, go as slow as you can. This will tease her. Begin by kissing and caressing her. A kiss is usually the first physical expression of desire but it is also often forgotten during sexual intercourse. During intercourse, you should kiss every part of your partner’s body and not be restricted to the mouth. Most women complain that their partners don’t kiss long enough and rush the movement directly to the genital area. Don’t be shy to experiment on every part of her body and remember to prolong the foreplay with more kissing and caressing.

A good time for learning

This article focused on the importance of foreplay as it is a learning experience. Foreplay is the perfect time to spend understanding what your partner likes because without that, you will never learn what she really needs to be fully stimulated. Don’t be shy; ask for feedback and also give your own. Both partners profit from good communication during foreplay and lovemaking. Also, without cutting the intensity of the moment, ask her what she really likes and what makes her go wild.

The time of her life

As a general rule, if she is satisfied with her sexual experience, she will usually make sure that you are satisfied as well. Good luck, and remember that only practice makes perfect. Don’t ever forget the importance of foreplay.

By David Strovny

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You take your new girlfriend out to a hot new restaurant for dinner, then to the bar for a couple cocktails. Conversation and libations are flowing – until you get home and into the bedroom. Suddenly, when it comes to doing the deed, Man’s Best Friend just won’t cooperate. Damn that last martini, you think to yourself; I should’ve had something much, um, stiffer.

Don’t panic! Erectile difficulty, the catch-all name for troubles with getting it up, happens at some point to almost every human being who owns a penis. If you’re one of those human beings – that is, a man – read on to find out why it’s so not the end of the world – or even the end of night.

The Lowdown

First things first: you get an erection when blood flows into your penis, making it thick and stiff. Now, erectile difficulty can be caused by physiological issues or psychological issues, or a combination of the two. Psychologist and sex therapist Dr. Lori Buckley, of Pasadena, California, says that ED can be the result of being a smoker, being overweight, having prostate problems or diabetes, or of other cardiovascular problems that limit blood flow in general. And yes, it can be caused by too much booze; while alcohol’s supposed to relax you, it sure can backfire! If you have consistent erectile difficulty, visit your doctor for a check-up to make sure that you’re healthy and that you’re eating a balanced diet.

Doing It

Of course, ED can be caused by nerves and performance anxiety, too. And if you let that anxiety affect your self-esteem, one limp situation, so to speak, can snowball into permanent insecurity. “Men have an emotional connection to their penises,” says Dr. Buckley. “They think women feel the same way, and fear rejection.” A fear of rejection is natural, but you’ll fear no more if you think of pleasure, not performance or penetration, as your goal. That’s the sure-fire way for both partners to end the night smiling. Here’s how:

Relax. As lots of women will tell you, “sex” does not necessarily mean “intercourse.” Focus on each moment of pleasure instead of thinking ahead to the end result. That way, when you do get hard, sex will be even better.

Remember, it’s okay if you lose your erection! “It’s not gone forever,” Dr. Buckley assures. “But what you do when you lose it makes a big difference. Instead of stressing out, focus on other things: spend some time arousing your partner; curl up for some cuddling or kissing; or just go watch a movie and try again later.

What about the magic pill?

Erection-sustaining prescription drugs, such as Viagra, Levitra, or Cialis, which are taken thirty minutes before intercourse and can last up to a couple of days, can be a good option, in Dr. Buckley’s opinion. “They can act as an insurance policy,” she points out. “They take the pressure off, because you know they’re there if you need them.” But she suggests trying drug-free solutions first, since relying on a pill unnecessarily won’t do your self-esteem any good. If you’re considering taking erection-sustaining medication, talk to your doctor about which drug is right for you.

Check out these resources for more information on ED:

The New Male Sexuality by Bernie Zilbergeld (New York: Bantam, 1999)
http://www.sexualhealth.com
http://www.webmd.com

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