September 4, 2006
Secrets to Becoming the Alpha Male
Up until a recently, I always looked at “alpha males” in completely negative terms. I saw them as pretentious, obnoxious, cocky and arrogant. The only reason they got girls, I thought, was because girls are lame, dense, and go for pricks. The alpha males’ success has nothing to do with them, I said, and everything to do with nice girls, going for bad boys.But over the last few months, my attitude has changed. I’ve actually found that adopting an “alpha attitude” is crucial towards attracting women. In fact, the guys who do best with women aren’t necessarily jocks; they’re just the ones who are assertive, ambitious, confident and clever: in short, they are decidedly alpha.
What transformed my perception? Well, it was a best friend who taught me-man’s best friend, to be exact. My attitude changed as a result of none other than learning about dog training. Alpha-dog training, to be exact.
Here’s what I discovered: As dogs today are still pack animals, with the same instincts as “a pack of wolves,” it’s important for dog owners to behave like the “Alpha”, or leader, of the group. In the wild, dogs would follow a structure, and in the absence of a solid “alpha” leader, the “beta’s” and “omega’s” of the pack would rebel. So as a dog owner, if you don’t make it clear to the dog that YOU are the leader-by eating first, going through doorways first, etc.-it’s all over from there: these wolf-like creatures are going to do the complete opposite of what you tell them to, and even become aggressive and untame.
Sounds kind of like what happens if you let girls run all over you, doesn’t it?
However, if you are firm and consistent in asserting yourself as the Alpha of your dog’s “pack” (ie, the family household), he will respect you and do what he or she is told. You’ll avoid so many problems, just by taking the time to show a dog that YOU are the boss.
Because, much like women, dogs WANT someone who’s in control. They don’t wan’t to have take up the role of leader themselves. They’ll actually love you more when you walk around with pride and confidence.
There’s more we can apply to female attraction from alpha dog training. When a low-ranking dog rebels against the “top dog,” successful dog trainers do the same things alpha wolves do in the wild: they ignore the dog for a couple days, until it comes back apologetic and willing to do what it is told. If the dog acts well upon return, he is rewarded and given the socialization and attention he needs.
As you’ll learn below, you can use this same principles towards ladies you meet at a bar or club.
Of course, you can’t go overboard. A dog that obeys out of fear does not behave as well as a dog who behaves out of respect. In fact, it’s been found that being too assertive and physical with a dog will only lead to aggressive and reckless behaviors. So it pays to be firm, but not brutal. Just like with the ladies-you want to be confident and assertive, but not arrogant and mean.
Here are some more benefits to carrying “alpha attitude” around the ladies:
* By asserting yourself as the leader-someone to be respected, not feared-you gain people’s respect. As I said, females don’t want to have to adopt male leadership themselves; they just want to be around someone who’s not afraid to be a stand-up, assertive kind of man. But let me be clear: women don’t want an insecure guy who feels he has to act macho and sexist to get his buddies’ approval, like so many jocks, but a guy who naturally acts confident, and expects people to show him respect. That’s what you’re aiming for, and that’s what women who are worth your time want.
* Conversely, by being the “follower” instead of the “followed,” people, especially girls, will treat you as what you present: someone who’s not a leader, someone who’s NOT confident, tough, and full of power; in short, someone who’s not full of value. You get what you give, so it’s up to you to GIVE a lot!
* When a girl, particularly one you’ve just met at a bar or any social venue, treats you with disrespect, it’s up to you, as the “alpha male,” to ignore her. Shut her out, move on, and she’ll eventually come back to you the same way a dog would: with her tail between her legs, apologetic, and hungry for your respect. But don’t address her until you’re sure you have her respect, otherwise you’re allowing her to “move up the pack,” which, as with dogs, will only create future problems.
This actually goes to show why guys who ignore girls, get more than those who dote on them and act needy. It’s all evolutionary.
* Conversely, when a girl treats you well, gives you love, and yes, does as she’s told (though I’m not suggesting you guys bark out commands!), you must treat HER with respect. This especially applies to girlfriends, but also a girl you’ve only known or dated shortly: Show your thanks, show your appreciation, the same way an alpha leader would display love and affection upon a well-behaved canine.
* You can even apply the alpha dog training to dates. Since the alpha leader eats first, chooses what to eat, and eats the biggest portions, YOU must decide where to eat on a date (don’t let her choose the restaurant!), you mustn’t be afraid to eat first (although social conventions do dictate that we must wait for both our plates to be served!), and you should get the best bites. If you’re splitting a piece of cheesecake, for example, don’t be afraid to dig in and get the best portion! The girl will actually respect you for it, much more so than if you bashfully gave up the best piece to her. Again, retain your position as the “top dog.”
* Finally, you have to show that you’re an alpha not just one-on-one, but also in groups. An alpha wolf doesn’t gain his position by submitting to others in the pack; he asserts himself in front of others and makes it known that he’s the leader. That doesn’t mean you treat your buddies and strangers like crap; it just means you don’t let them push you around. In short, you must be what the guy I think has the whole “alpha attitude” down pat, Carlos Xuma, calls “being a stand-up guy.” That means standing up for yourself , AND standing up for your girl, by not taking crap from anyone. You don’t have to be a jock to let people know they can’t push you around.
Quite the contrary. Xuma knows that in order to be big, you’ve gotta THINK big, and he does this himself by adopting alpha characteristics. What are some great alpha characteristics? In his Secrets to Becoming the Alpha Man course, Xuma rattles off a number of them, including being:
- Clever/smart/cunning
- Ambitious
- Excited
- Honorable
- Dominant (not aggressive, but demonstrating superior social skills)
- Stable
- Fit (healthy lifestyle)
- Curious
- Balanced
- Natural
Doesn’t sound like you? No worries. With Xuma’s course you can learn how to NATURALLY become the leader. It all starts with attitude. Carlos teaches some fascinating, real-life subjects like:
Qualification: The Essence of Alpha Attitude
REAL Game Philosophy
Three Winning Attitudes to Impress Women
5 Things to Never Talk About with Women
The Keys to Dating Success
Motivating Yourself to Get More Girls
How Even Geeks Can Get ’10’s’ with Alpha Attitude
What Bad Boys Have That Nice Guys Don’t
I highly recommend trying Xuma out. You can start with his free mini-course and newsletter, and see how you like it. I personally find it fascinating and down-to-earth gritty.
In short, it pays to be alpha. The best part is, You don’t have to be a football player to do it. The lasting reward is feeling good about yourself, and getting the girls all the other alpha males get. What’s wrong with that?
James Brito regularly explores topics of attraction. Since 2000, he has helped thousands of men around build confidence and get the women they deserve. To get his free six-part audio mini-course, visit:
http://www.000relationships.com/towomen/
by James Brito
